There must be a word for the feeling when the world suddenly doesn’t feel real anymore

When something has shifted out of place and you can’t quite fix it

As if you are looking at your body through a pane of glass,

a movie screen, an unfamiliar set of eyes, a dream state

As you fall down this rabbit hole,

Everything feels distant except the buzzing in your ears

The numbness claiming your limbs

And the fear that could set herds of cattle stampeding

Knuckles so white from digging your nails into your skin, trying to feel the pain, trying to feel anything

Searching for a sign that you didn’t make this all up

Stumbling for breath on the sidewalk that grows and shrinks against your will

Like walking up an escalator the wrong way, always moving you back despite your best efforts

And the trick staircase trying to throw you off

It’s all in your head

This Alice in Wonderland reality you visit

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be

There is no laughter, mad men in hats, caterpillars on LSD

You are the only mad one here

Gasping at the air that’s not quite right, staring at the skin that’s not quite yours

Isn’t it wonderful here?