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What To Say
“I’m sorry”
bang
What to say to them.
To the ones who said
you were going to do it.
You let them win.
“I always kept to myself.
They never seemed to.”
Kept them in your mind till the very end.
“I'm tired of people not wanting me,
Not caring.”
You gave them what they didn't deserve,
Your exhaustion getting the best of you.
“I never meant to give them satisfaction.
This was not because of them.”
“I was weak.”
To give them that choice
How could you?
“I tried to stay,
Stay not just for me but for you.”
You gave them strength
“So much hate I stopped caring.
I stopped caring about everything”
while they made you frail.
“It was a battle against a lion and a mouse,”
another slash in their tally board,
never as many as the ones
In your delicate skin.
“The lion won.”
You made it too easy for them to crumble.
What to say to us.
“To you
Who stuck by my side.”
Tossing and turning,
Not recognizing that you won't be back.
“I can't begin to tell you where I was.
My life was filled with darkness,
But never coming from you.”
Mom’s up by your room,
Destroyed.
“You were always by my side.
The cheerleaders on the sidelines
were just not enough to win the game.
To feel again.”
You made that choice.
“I know .”
The choice you promised you never would.
“But in this stage in my life,
My words just don't seem to matter.”
All your pain,
“Nothingness and everything at the same time
bleeding out of me
Forcing my body to quit.”
It falls on us.
Do you realize what you’ve done?
“I tried to fight these feelings,
For you.
For us.”
What to say to me.
From the start,
“I always made sure to lookout for you,
never for myself.”
No one knew about your problem.
Told me you never would,
Told me you were strong.
“Just please,”
Strong enough to stay.
“Try to stay strong without me.
Make your life worth it.”
When we were young,
“I remember when we were young.
A carefree life.”
Not a worry in sight,
“A good life.”
You always said not to lie.
It would cause a guilty conscience.
Well look at us now,
Your problem
“Be strong.”
Now my problem.
“Don't forget me.”
bang
“I’m sorry”.
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For this piece, I was very inspired by the song, "Im Sorry" by Joyner Lucas. This song shows two different points of view of the suicide and I think that this song did an excellent job at capturing the realness of feelings from family after one has taken their own life. In this poem, the dialogue, or parts under quotations are different parts of the suicide note of the one that had taken their life. The regular writing is in the point of view of the little brother, writing a letter to his now dead older brother. He is filled with emotions, and sometimes even blames him. In the end, where there is another bang shows a rippling affect that can greatly come from suicide. Because his role model had taken his own life, now he believes that there is nothing without him and falls into depression. Suicide is something that should be taken seriously and I feel that the emotions in my piece seem real and "raw".