Daniel | Teen Ink

Daniel

January 27, 2013
By Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski


Was walking through the forest, I
Was thinking of a time.
When heroes didn’t fight with swords
And still they conquered crime.

Was sitting on a fallen log,
and trying to forget.
The things around me faded, and
I saw a silhouette.

It was a boy, from long ago,
He came before my eyes.
His name was Daniel, he was young
but he seemed very wise.

He touched the frown upon my lips,
And asked me what was wrong.
“It’s fear,” I said, “It’s everywhere,
The brave don’t stay for long.”

He smiled and withdrew from me,
I thought him gone for good.
But then I looked and saw him come,
And fearfully, I stood.

“What is that thing that you have there?”
I asked in puzzled voice.
“It’s nothing but a story, girl,
the power of a choice.”

I asked why a choice would tell me
How courage can be found.
He laughed again and said to just
Listen without a sound.

“Once ago,” he said to me, and
I stood breathlessly.
“There was a boy who loved a God,
who loved him endlessly.

“In fact he was so honest and
hardworking that God smiled.
But others who were jealous thought
Him backwards and defiled.

“One day they worked a plan out, that
would trap him and condemn.
The king must be worshipped by all,
No other god but him.

“The wicked men sat by and watched,
The boy heard of the law.
And while he knew the danger, he
Prayed where the others saw.

“A boy not bound by temptation
or fear or any threat.
They threw him in the lion’s den,
To pay the martyr’s debt.

“They underestimated the
kind of courage that heals.
That heals instead of waving swords,
A prayer, a faith that’s real.

“God shut the lions’ mouths so that
they would not devour.
A wild tamed and subdued, to
Save a boy with great power.”

The boy was finished speaking then,
He settled on the ground.
He looked so peacefully at ease,
A calmness very loud.

At last I had to say my part,
That I did not believe.
“The boy was saved by God,” I said,
“Not courage — he’s naïve.”

“Innocence and faith can do what
violence never can.
Who’s more brave, the soldier or
The boy who hates no man?

“Love will never destroy what
is brave or kind or true.
The bravest act of all holds not
A sword, but pure virtue.”




He vanished and I searched about,
But couldn’t find his face.
And then I knew, without a doubt,
The boy knew God’s embrace.

He must have been an angel sent
From somewhere up above.
To teach me what true courage is,
A never-ending love.

I thought about the story that
Daniel had told to me.
And realized I was wrong about
The boy in the story.

It’s not when facing lions that
Your courage comes to call.
It’s trusting God no matter what
And jumping in at all.



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This article has 38 comments.


on Mar. 30 2013 at 1:45 am
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

lol, um....thank you? I'll take that as a compliment :)   You're so funny Epic

on Mar. 30 2013 at 1:12 am
Helena_Noel BRONZE, Burnt Hills, New York
1 article 0 photos 629 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way: The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear, fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear.” -Edgar Guest

Aha! Found you! My friend lost her Brilliance (long story) and asked me to catch it, an you are OBVIOUSLY in posession if more than one person's worth of Brilliances! No....? Okay, sorry. Aparently, this is just your normal Awesomeness. An honest mistake! Move along...

on Mar. 25 2013 at 9:03 pm
carolinestarr PLATINUM, Ellicott City, Maryland
28 articles 2 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's not about who we are, but who we choose to be."

Okay. I was thinking it was something along those lines. And you're welcome! I can not stress enough how much I love this poem! 

on Mar. 25 2013 at 4:10 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Yeah, I realize some of the rhyming was strained. David was supposed to be a figment of her imagination, more like an allegory, that appeared to her from "heaven" as an answer to her prayers. It was supposed to give her hope that there was still brave, kind people in the world :). Thanks for your feedback, I appreciate it!

on Mar. 25 2013 at 4:03 pm
carolinestarr PLATINUM, Ellicott City, Maryland
28 articles 2 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's not about who we are, but who we choose to be."

You asked me for critiques, s here we go! First of all, this is an excellent poem! I absolutely love it! I would reccomend maybe watching the length of your lines, especially the ones that rhyme. It sounds kind of funny when one line is much longer, or even ust a few syllables longer, than the other. I know rhyming is hard, but there are some words thatsound like you put them there just to continue the rhyming pattern. Additionally, who is David (the character in the poem, not from the Bible) supposed to be? It's kind of unclear to the reader. 

on Mar. 16 2013 at 12:47 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

because writing about daniel as a boy to an anonymous girl was supposed to be allegorical:) but it ended up being more literal. 

Mckay ELITE said...
on Mar. 15 2013 at 1:40 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Why do you think it should have been less obvious?

on Mar. 14 2013 at 7:58 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thanks! But it could have been less obvious I guess.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Mar. 14 2013 at 6:11 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2260 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Love how you used a Biblical story as your theme. :)

on Mar. 13 2013 at 10:31 am
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thank you!!

on Mar. 13 2013 at 9:40 am
IndigoElisabeth SILVER, Woodbury, New Jersey
5 articles 1 photo 171 comments

Favorite Quote:
John 1:1

Oh my gosh, this was SO GOOD! I'm favoriting it right now! I loved your word choice, the descriptions, the message, everything. Loved it.

on Feb. 21 2013 at 12:06 pm
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1143 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out
The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay
If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven
And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

You're welome!! ANd I'm glad :D

on Feb. 20 2013 at 3:52 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thanks saphira:) lol I still get a kick outa your name!

on Feb. 20 2013 at 10:44 am
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1143 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out
The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay
If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven
And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

WOW WOW WOW...Rarely Jaded, I am in love with this poem. I love the theme, I love the story told, I love the words, I love everything about it,..And when you said, "Listen without a sound" : EPIC...Though some people may say it's two things with the same meaning in one line but I love it when poets manipulate words like that..And the last stanzas, the ones before whom comes that breakpoint, it's wonderful how you expressed that change of heart and perspective....just beautifully written....It's amazing. This is just AWESOME. You're an amazing poet! This one is definitely going into my favs.

on Feb. 19 2013 at 3:13 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thank you!!!!!!!

on Feb. 19 2013 at 3:04 pm
InuLover_95 BRONZE, Mena, Arkansas
4 articles 1 photo 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When you look through a shattered window, it is not the world that is broken, only your perception of it."
--Unknown

O: Wow, this is amazing!!!!!!! I find your poetry-- in one word-- ADDICTING!!!!!!!!

on Feb. 17 2013 at 5:52 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Aww, thank you! That really means a lot, I'm glad you liked it:)

on Feb. 17 2013 at 3:39 pm
Poetic_Person GOLD, Shippensburg, Pennsylvania
18 articles 8 photos 40 comments
“Innocence and faith can do what violence never can. Who’s more brave, the soldier or The boy who hates no man?" I love love love this. A lot. You are awesome. That is all.

on Feb. 16 2013 at 12:19 pm
StarlitSunrise DIAMOND, Clemmons, North Carolina
56 articles 0 photos 253 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing." ~Camille Pissarro

  This is inspiring. You write about faith very well, and I know it can’t come easy. You’re message here is beautiful.

on Feb. 12 2013 at 4:34 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thank you:)


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