Atlantis | Teen Ink

Atlantis

January 26, 2013
By Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski


Submerged under a thousand feet
of waves upon my chest.
I swim towards the surface and
forget all of the rest...
A timeless scene was held below,
a treasure cove of gold.
A kingdom sunk, forever lost,
where skeletons grow old.
It saddens me to think of it
Ball rooms and dancing feet.
Courtyards and hidden alley streets,
where lovers used to meet.


The author's comments:
This is about Atlantis.

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This article has 17 comments.


on Apr. 1 2013 at 7:34 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thank you! It means a lot to get feedback :P

on Apr. 1 2013 at 7:13 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

This is wonderful! It's so short and simple and sweet and yet it means so much. This is amazing. I love how it sounds when I read it aloud. I really like this.

on Feb. 17 2013 at 5:51 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thank you, you're exactly right:)

on Feb. 17 2013 at 3:49 pm
Poetic_Person GOLD, Shippensburg, Pennsylvania
18 articles 8 photos 40 comments
Lost hope.... that's what came to my mind when i read this. Descriptive but to the point; short and sweet. It's like how Atlantis was trying to be found but in the end, faded underneath despite it's work. I like this poem. You're an outstanding writer.

on Feb. 16 2013 at 8:35 am
bruisedmemories ELITE, Birdsboro, Pennsylvania
109 articles 10 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When you're young, you can fly, but we trip on clouds 'cause we get too high" -The Band Perry (Song: Don't Let Me Be Lonely)
"Cause no matter what, you'll never be alone" -Lady Antebellum (Song: Compass)

Even though it's a fictional place, the way you incoperated it into your poem was great! I loved it!

on Feb. 15 2013 at 9:41 pm
StarlitSunrise DIAMOND, Clemmons, North Carolina
56 articles 0 photos 253 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing." ~Camille Pissarro

  Yay for short poems! It shows a lot of finesse that you were able to convey such a vibrant image in so few lines. I really like the emotion you worked into this. I mean, it’s a fictional place, but you are totally right—it is sad! Little things like that can really make a piece.

on Feb. 13 2013 at 3:22 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thank you for commenting on my poems! It means a lot:)

on Feb. 13 2013 at 2:11 pm
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1143 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out
The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay
If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven
And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

This was so interesting plus the way you cherish th elong lost and describe in memoriam is amazing. 

on Feb. 8 2013 at 2:36 pm
Sakuya PLATINUM, Richmond, Virginia
39 articles 12 photos 63 comments
For it being such a short poem it creates a great image in my mind! This is really interesting, I like it a lot.

on Feb. 7 2013 at 8:53 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Didn't even notice, but yeah you're right. Thanks:)

on Feb. 7 2013 at 7:46 pm
redhairCat PLATINUM, Pebble Beach, California
47 articles 20 photos 411 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can do anything!"

Good rhythm and rhyme. I think "ballroom" is all one word, but that's the only thing I'd point out. :)

on Feb. 4 2013 at 10:46 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thanks! I don't know what aspiring means but it sounds like a compliment! :)

on Feb. 4 2013 at 10:12 pm
Loveveryday BRONZE, Hamtramck, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I believe in god, only I spell it Nature"

Simply aspiring piece!

on Feb. 4 2013 at 4:27 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thanks:) it was just meant to be a nostalgic poem, of sorts, that's why it's short

OldYoungOne said...
on Feb. 4 2013 at 2:56 pm
I enjoyed this poem because of the simplicity of the work. It wasn't so simple to where I was numbed by boredom and lack of uniqueness but I appreciated it because I could fill in my own vision and emotion of the under water city.

on Jan. 30 2013 at 9:33 am
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thank ya:)

Bubbs GOLD said...
on Jan. 30 2013 at 3:03 am
Bubbs GOLD, Rowlands Gill, Other
11 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be so good that they can't ignore you."

Amazing! Great rhythm to the poem too


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