Ode to Chuck Norris (just a long joke really) | Teen Ink

Ode to Chuck Norris (just a long joke really)

February 20, 2011
By Shogun11 SILVER, Yelm, Washington
Shogun11 SILVER, Yelm, Washington
6 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Behind his beard is a fist not a chin
He'll roundhouse your face to a new dimension!
This man can say that he wrestled a bear and
That he didn't lose any facial hair!
His kicks are as sacred and JUST as holy
As a meal of Swiss cheese, water, wine, and cannolis.
Oh yes this man is the creator of giraffes
'Cause when a horse sneaked up
he upper-cut it's!! (bleeped out for obvious reasons :P)...
Cops let him do whatever comes to his mind!
His blood is type J 'cause it cures the blind!
Oh Chuck oh Chuck
With your eagle eyes
Please don't crush victims in-between your thighs
With hammer-like fists
And titanium chin
An unholy force commits no sin.
Some people say that he's always the winner
And that he's the reason why people
make fun of Gingers
But to that i said "Man i can do what i want, heck!"
The last words i uttered 'fore he snapped my neck!
Oh Chuck Mr. Norris please spare my life!
Take my house, I beg you please
Take my wife!
Chuck is the reason why Bin Laden hides
and why other men cry themselves to sleep at night!
Look up in the sky! That signal is queer!
It looks like a fist and a large red beard!
Yeah Chuck Norris went to take a bite out of crime
When he saw two hobos fighting over a dime,
Then he went over to them
He straightened them out
'Cause big bad Chuck round-housed them
Into the ground!
Did you know that Schwarzenegger
Was Chuck's apprentice?
He quit at yellow belt in Chuck's Butt-Kick Olympics!
His skin is white, and his hair is red
That flash of color's the last thing before
Your pronounced dead!

Oh Chuck Mr. Norris
please don't take this offensively i don't want to make you cry
I know you could somehow read slash hear this and I DON'T WANT TO DIE!

The author's comments:
This is really just a joke i made up with friends in school when we got bored and couldn't think of anything to write about for our poem project. Chuck Norris jokes never get old and they sure are fun to rhyme together... RANDOM ELEPHANT!!! :D hahaha

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