Shattered Reflection | Teen Ink

Shattered Reflection

December 15, 2021
By Lydiaq ELITE, Somonauk, Illinois
Lydiaq ELITE, Somonauk, Illinois
148 articles 41 photos 1014 comments

Favorite Quote:
The universe must be a teenage girl. So much darkness, so many stars.

my full-length mirror is shattered

I threw it to the floor two summers ago

when I picked it up, I was horrified to see its scarred face

becoming my reflection

throwing its brokenness right back at me

what a senseless day.

I can’t get rid of it, that trash picked mirror

I should put it with the trash where it belongs

but it’s my trash and I love it

and I look in it and it holds me.

as if bewitched, my mirror takes in my face

and breaks into a prism of insanity

just as everyone who sees me

sees me through the reflection of their truth

which they press into me with their minds’ hands,

as if to reflect their truth in my life, my future

as if to define me—but there’s no end of this dictionary

of identity, and among the thoughts and prayer that define me,

there’s no end in sight, and who I am is elusive;

the girl I am slips through the cracks of the mirror,

bending down on my knees, to the level where there are no cracks

to see who I am, short, a hunchbacked smile, a flash of retrospect.

my identity, like sand, slips through the fingers of rock I’m battered against

slips through the openings and joins the windy sea

for one day, I will stand up, turn around, walk out

and be myself and never let people tell me who I am

but for now, there’s only the midnight bedroom

where I sleep alone

and waking up, my face appears—

too many lies

too many mood changes,

too many tears,

oh, until the day comes on

when I throw my jar of selves to the ground,

and spill them like oil

there’s only the steadfast darkness

and too many mirrors.

The author's comments:

This is about a cracked full-length mirror in my bedroom which I've never been able to throw away, despite people telling me it's dangerous to own a cracked mirror.

This is a glaring symbol of my life. Despite the promise of finding wholeness and identity someday, I obsessively cling to self hate and lies about myself. When I'm looking at my reflections in the shards of my mirror, that's like trying to believe everyone's opinion about me at once. The reflection is distorted.

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This article has 2 comments.

Afra DIAMOND said...
on Dec. 28 2021 at 8:47 pm
Afra DIAMOND, Kandy, Other
67 articles 6 photos 1525 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You can’t ask other people to believe you and vote for you if you don’t back yourself."
-Jacinda Ardern-

"If I can make someone's day brighter, happier, better, that makes me happier."
-Ava Max-

"A writer must never be short of ideas."
-Gabriel Agreste- (Fictional character- Miraculous)

"A Bridge Has Two Sides."
-Elsa- (Fictional character- Frozen)

“I knew who I was as a girl but I had to find who I was as a woman.”
-Delta Goodrem-

@Lydiaq, the poem is absolutely wonderful...Keep writing... I could actually feel what you're going through when I read this poem...

Meanwhile, please check out my recent poem...

on Dec. 19 2021 at 2:17 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
200 articles 23 photos 1053 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)

"Upon his bench the pieces lay
As if an artwork on display
Of gears and hands
And wire-thin bands
That glisten in dim candle play." -Janice T., Clockwork[love that poem, dont know why, im not steampunk]

hey so phases come and phases go and i kinda always knew ti was one(especaily because i knew i would grow to old), and with the forums STILL HECKIN GONE and me having tech issues, im getting less and less active. im peripherally aware of a new generation of teeninkers, so i dont think i really have much place here. i'm not signing off forever or anything, just a heads up.
id say im always availble by email, but with the email thing on glitch, we should probably figure out something else(if you want to stay in touch- dang it dawn shut up- sorry, assuming you... ughhh can i find a way to phrase this that isnt directly insultig myself? no, it seems not. assuming you think its worth staying in touch, we can work out some other means of communication).