Im laying in bed glassy eyed and laying flat on my back
Hostage
I'm a hostage to my brain,
My brain is holding me hostage making me think over and over and then over think
Thinking
Hostage
Im laying in my bed as the soft voice of my heart whisper words imitating the mother
I've always wanted.
“Look you can tell i'm not a hostage negotiator, but i am a mother and i know what your mother did to you when you were little, what she was, what she put you threw…”
I am a hostage 
“And it makes me so.. “
Mad
Angry
Sad
I am a hostage
“it's just not fair and no one can make that better, i know and if i could go back and help you.. if i could just pick you up and tell you everything is okay.”
Everything isn't okay
I'm a hostage
“That's what moms are supposed to do. There not supposed to be the Cause of your pain, they are supposed to make it go away. They’re supposed to hold you and tell you everything is gonna be alright.”
Im alone
I'm scared
I'm a hostage
“ They’re supposed to tell you that thunder is angels bowling and that its okay to be afraid of the dark and that it's not silly to think there might be monsters in your closet and that it's okay.”
I'm… a hostage
“ That if you want to climb in bed with them just this once, cause it's scary in the room all alone they are supposed to say it's okay to be afraid and not be the thing your afraid of.
I'm a hostage
“But most importantly they’re supposed to love you no matter what.”
The words are fading,
i am fading
I am a hostage.