I see
The pain stuck in his eyes
As he cleans his rifles.
One after the other,
He mutters:
‘One day.’

I hear
The gasping and panting
As he rocks endlessly
In his sleeping aray.
He whispers:
‘One day.’

I smell
Beers and spirits washing away
The pitiful sadness
That hangs over his head.
He says:
'One day.'

I taste
Cold blood on my lips
As he strikes his hand.
I do not cry.
He yells:
'One day.'

I touch
The countless drawings
Of dead women,
The disassembled guns
He has collected,
And The ribbons
He has earned.
Yet,
I remember the looming words he spoke:
'One day.'
And I ask him if he thinks about dying.

“Darling” He says,
“It is all I ever think about”.

He puts me to bed and in the stiff air he sings:
“Stars as far as the eyes can see,
Bright as a moonlit night
Yet, even the Heaven’s know,
There is darkness between the light”

I knew then, I had lost him.
He is gone.