Your name still stings my tongue

the moment it leaves my lips.

December has approached again, and so

my thoughts consume of you.

I cant help but remember the day you decided

it'd be better to leave

than to stay in this world alongside me.

I sit there, 10 p.m., my heart in your crushing hands. 

Each second brings a tighter grip on it,

until you took it away. So this,

now vacant spot, 

aches,

causing me to slouch 

from the heaviness of the pain in my chest.

Every piece of me had crumbled, as I stared blankly at my phone.

Remembering you burns.

Like the talks that lasted until 2, because you

were more important than sleep 

and giving up my time didn’t seem to matter when it was for you,

but you're gone now, yet somehow you still are every part of me.

You're my thoughts, good and bad,

how I hate to think of you.

You're the twinge I get in my chest,

how I hate to feel you.

I am left in the shadow of yourself-

cold and broken-

perhaps from all the words you have spoken

I always ask myself why,

why you just had to die.

There is an unfillable void

that will always haunt me.

So, my heart heavy with sorrow,

would like you to know, that

you deserve just that; to know.

I owe it to myself to remind

you of it all. Now, I leave with

my pride. I will not reminisce

on your lies. Its weight lifting, 

how I found the entire good

in goodbye.