Silky bows flying on metallic strings,
A concert, yippee
White shirts, black pants
All around me
Students performing on a wooden stage
Alas more interesting than that,
Is what happens after the fact

Out for a late dinner at a Mexican restaurant,
My family friends and  I, all fun
Until a phone call interrupts
My father looks troubled and picks up the phone
Silently, he walks outside
What could it be?
Possibly for me?
What could cause such a plight
That my father needed to answer this late at night.

We return home to our beds
Soft mattresses beckon us
But first I question my father,
“Who called?  What is happening?”
No answers for me
My fuzzy brown bear beside me
With crimson overalls
Black eyes that see all
I know I must wait for my answers
Until daybreak.
I answer the call of sleep
 
The sun sings into my room
I awake to a pounding on the door
Great
“Downstairs! Hurry up!”
Sister calls
I roll out of bed and put on my robe
Downstairs is now the place to go

I slump down the stairs with slitted eyes
The sun which before brought warmth
Burned my eyes
I squint even harder and see my parents
On the gray, rough, leather couch
Marching slowly towards them I finally ask
“What’s going on?”
My mother holds back words as my father speaks first
“Last night your Great Grandmother passed in her sleep.”

At first I don’t understand,
But slowly it creeps into me
I feel it
The tug trying to pull my insides apart
That tug of sadness,
pain,
Like a weight
It rests in my stomach
My eyes burn and my hands shake

I sprint faster than ever before
Up the stairs
The stairs I had grudgingly
Slumped down with tired eyes and
Slow feet
Now being pounded as I run,
Run away from it all
Salty tears roll down my red face
Hot as a fire
I jump into my bed

Curl into my blanket

With that bear
The one she gave to me

My promise to her that I would always keep it

It hurts so much
The pain
The tug
Its traveled to my heart and its creeping
Sneakily into my throat
Finally it is too much
I throw my head into that bear and sob
Animal like sounds escape me
I want to just go
Anywhere but here

That bear
That stupid bear
My promise
My anchor
Seems to look at me with knowing eyes
But that´s just wishful thinking

She’s gone
No sign
No life
No voice
Just
Gone