The woman in the dark framed glasses took a quick look around the room.
I can't help but feel doomed, here we go again.
Another school, another life.
More times to lie.
The other kids look at me like I am a being from another planet,
We’re going to move again, but I can’t plan it.
Might as well make the best.
Might as well give it a test.
Time to lie some more.
I am starting to feel sick down to my core.
Other kids they tease, they make fun.
“I am just like you” I begged them please.
If only they knew that someday I would be true.
Dads left again, I’m not sure he gets the letters that I send.
I listen to mom cry and can’t begin to comprehend why.
I ask “mommy why do you cry?”
She replies like she does always, “don’t worry honey mommy will be alright.’’
School is hell.
But I will never tell.
Sometimes I scream.
Sometimes I yell.
All I’ve ever wanted was to be like the other kids.
All I’ve ever wanted was to fit in.
But instead I cry as I get kicked in my shins.
Things start to look up, same school for 2 years.
“You are doing so well?” everyone cheers.
But on the inside i am forming so many fears,
Sixth grade comes so very quick.
Looking at food makes me sick.
I struggle, with friends, with appearance, and with family.
Still trying so desperately to be like everyone else,
My neck feels tightened as if it were constricted by many belts.
Crying every night.
Flinching at every bite.
I feel like I am drowning.
I may seem happy at first glance.
But on the inside I am actually frowning.
Time flies and soon I head to high school.
Oh but how I am a fool.
Dad happens to die.
Depression really settles in now
I turn to the crowd as I take my last bow,
But what about the slashes on wrists?
“I’m fine” I say as I clench my fists.
Some support, some help.
Soon I have a regular health.
But then something new occurs.
I join the track team.
I suddenly no longer want to scream.
I catch my breath.
“I can finally breath” I enthusiastically express.
Next on the list.
I no longer have clenched fists.
My skies have cleared.
Everything is gone, even my fears.
It’s been so many years.
So I’ll end on this,
I can’t believe that I have finally found my bliss.