I loved myself when i was young and use to lay out in the sun with my dog while drinking ice cold lemonade in the middle of the summer not afraid
I loved myself when i use to not pay attention to what others thought and instead fought for what's right
I loved myself from age 6-10 when i would play a new sport every season because i didn't want to settle on just one
I loved myself when i chose to be with family over friends
I didn't love myself when i started to value new friends over old
I didn't love myself when i spent every minute learning how to change myself so others could see how ‘cool’ i was
I didnt love myself when i started to see the devil eyes instead of my mothers
I didn't love myself when my grades dropped from straight A’s to barely keeping B’s and C’s
And having to start teaching myself how to get the answers without someone noticing in order to pass classes
I didn't love myself when i had to lie to my parents in order to leave their house for one that had lacked one for the past ten years but became a home to the small group of five where we would spend every single day while we scream and hide with every jingle we heard from the broken shingle above us
I didn't love myself when i snuck out into the dark pretending that these midnight memories would stay with me in the autumn breeze
I didn't love myself when i allowed them to manipulate me knowing i couldn't get out no matter how much i plea
I didn't love myself when my parents through the signed papers at me with the two rings that fell from their hands
I didn't love myself the next year when they were the only ones i had and they lied and tossed me to the side alone while i cried
I didn't love myself when i was trapped while feeling like i was just slapped
I didn't love myself when i spent every night that month locked in my room with the only audible sound being my sobs of uncertainty as if it was like my job
I love myself because i removed all the toxic in my life disproved by my family
I love myself because i fixed the old relationships and made them like brand new again
I love myself because i became a captain for a team i got cut from a year ago
I love myself because i saved myself