You know how in the summer

when It’s 96 degrees out

pushing 97,

and you’re inside in the air conditioning

that’s working its a** off, but

it can’t quite get anything but a three foot radius cool?

And all you can think about is

Winter.

You know when the fall comes

and you’re so irritated because

the air is chilly;

It’s chilly enough for a sweater,

warm enough to toss a football.

But the sun is out,

so it’s off, on,

off with that damn sweater.

And all you can think about is

Winter

That’s how I felt about you.

Oh how I wanted

Winter.

I was sick of summer with you.

I was sick of constantly being pushed

away from that three foot radius.

I was sick of the summer bucket lists,

lists that failed to exist.

I was sick of being hot, cold,

hot.

Oh God, we wanted

Winter.

And winter came.

We smiled for awhile

even if it was forced through chattering teeth.

We trudged through snow mounds.

we drank hot chocolate.

we kept our sweaters

our coats wrapped tightly around our waists.

We tried

tried to keep the frostbite out.

So we covered our hands,

our feet,

in layers.

We finally got our winter.

And our summer tans faded,

faded faster than they had appeared.

And no matter how many layers we wore,

we wanted to badly

to stick our uncomfortable,

tingling,

frostbitten fingers

into the fire.

We burnt our tongues on hot chocolate.

The cold air snuck through our sweaters,

our coats.

And I never thought I would say this,

But through chattering teeth I wished for

Summer.

You know how in the Spring,

When it’s too hot for a coat,

too cold for a sweater?

And do you remember telling me

“April showers, bring may flowers”?

Do you remember my hate for the rain?

Do you remember me wishing,

praying, for

Summer?

Summer came.

I felt anger like 96 degrees. Pushing 97.

I felt so irritated because I was hot, cold,

Hot with your touch

I felt numb from the frostbite that had

bitten too-damn-hard.

And I felt like April, When may came

And you kissed her.

Oh God. I wish it were winter.