I am afraid of tomorrow:
Anything and everything
happens in a sudden
whirlwind, catching me
off guard, and spitting
me out on the hard ground
out of breath and reintroducing
me to the familiar and somewhat comforting iron taste
of dirt.

I am afraid of the unknown:
The unanimousness of all
the unknown and hidden secrets of others, slipping through their vaults in hushed tones and whispers petrifies me, and solidifies my every move. Was it something I said? What did I do wrong this time?

I am afraid of failure:
It keeps its deadly grip on
my neck and craves the
sight of my suffocation and
pure look of defeat.
As it laughs sadistically, I cower into a state of shamefulness rather than prevailing.

I am afraid of myself:
The once strong, steel barricade
of knowing when everything is
too much, now lay flattened and mangled by my side.
I can feel the shards of metal pierce my back bone.
I can feel my entire existence
being stepped on and moved around by someone else's own free will.
When did being nice become my slave owner?

I am afraid that I am afraid:
Anxiety and Terror have become
my new BFF's -braiding my thoughts, giving my entire personality a makeover, and gossiping over what is wrong with me today.

I am afraid that changing this is like a fantasy, and standing up for myself one day is one that shall never come to pass.

Why am I so afraid?