(7)(12x)=84

This equation is so easy to solve but for some reason I couldn't figure out why the damn alphabet joined in on this lovely math equation.

7 was your favorite number.
12 was mine.
8 represents the amount of months I've been holding a picture of you to the back of my eyelids.
4 represents the amount of times it took for me to f*** things up.

I ways put you in front of me.
I kept the parentheses around us because we needed our space and protection from each other.
You weren't missing or needing anything.
I had something attached to my back that needed to be given meaning.

You were my goal.
Life did I know that if I turned around to see what the rest of the equation said, I would be able to solve my own problem.
Easily.
Your back always seemed to be toward me.
In a different perspective, to you, anything else seemed greater than me.
But that's just how you are, how your figure is.

7 doesn't factor into 12 in any way.
There is no variable, situation, or number that you led to me cleanly.
Maybe in my imagination, but nothing real.
We are just separate constants.

If you filled the missing letters to my sentence, we would not add up to what is meant to be.
U.S. combined would be too much: too much pain, too much suffering, and too many memories that I wouldn't be able to void.
We exist separately.

The only variable that will solve this problem is myself alone. 1
Two of us don't belong and the streaks behind me remind me of what I need to do to balance either side of this equation.

7 is the lucky number to many and there are infinite other problems you will see yourself in.
7 is beautiful because there aren't any multiples that create you.
But you and I are apart and I need to except that.
You're in my life to help me get to somewhere.
But I can only rely on one.