she sat next to his bed
dressed in lullabies and daydreams
her sapphire gaze cut through me
tearing my body open at its sinews and seams

l
     o
          v
               e

to you it has no meaning
your heart - an Alaskan glacier
-80 degrees Celsius and shrouded in darkness -
forever a desolate wasteland because you were never here

i desperately miss those days
when you would tuck me in bed
smother me with your violet perfume
and kiss my head

and then you left 
and i had to clean up your mess 
of extramarital affairs
of unpaid bills and stress

of cocaine needles
that you jabbed into my skin
when you decided to return
as dad in his hospital bed reduces himself thin

to skin and bones
you are nothing but skin and bones
and i disintegrated into fragments of extremes
the day you left and never looked back