I am the anxious first year of Suffern High School.
I am the nervous 9th grader walking through the crowded walls,
as my self esteem falls.
I am the friend that fades
and the one who stays.
I am tangled in the mess of "who did that" and the "who is that."
I am the shaking wreck struggling to find my class,
I am the late pass. 

I am the black BMW that pulls up to Water Wheel.
I am the silent child
a pleasure to take out to eat.
I am steaming penne alla vodka coming to the fading family of three.
I am the child who takes the brown and green swirled mint when we get out of our seat.

I am the navy blue and white colored field hockey stick.
I am the shin guards that surround my tired calves.
I am the hard orange ball,
soaring through the chilled air of fall.
I am the sweaty goggles that interferes with my sight of the ball.
I am the one to help my teammates when they fall.

I am the swaying dock.
I am the sperrys that walk a lot.
I am the ruffles in the water as the motor guides us.
I am the beating sun,
reflecting off the snow white tanning porch.
I am the endless sunsets,
watched for hours.

I am the butter that drips from the popcorn.
I am the long hours spent in oversized chairs and uncomfortable armrests.
I am the
thriller
comedy
drama
and romance movies.

I am the overthinker.
I am the anxious mess,
waiting for my test.
I am the cuticles I have picked off.
I am the nail that has been chewed off.

I am the endless rounds of Egyptian Rummy.
I am the mosquito bites that engulf my body.
I am the cool summer nights.
I am the torch that mimics many lights.
I am the long nights spent at Lisa's room temperature, chlorine pool.
I am the ice cold water that keeps me cool.
I am the gooey golden marshmallow stuck to my stick.
I am the deflated beach ball that wanders into the pool, that we occasionally kick.

I am the two houses I switch back and forth to.
I am the flashbacks of screaming and yelling,
remembering secrets that weren't made for telling.
I am the strong arms that carries bags for too long.
I am the jumbled mess that tries to avoid stress.
I am the only child that has to deal with this mess.