This is not my home.
How did I even get here?
I am in a room of pallid color, like alabaster.
The inside of my mind is aphotic and turbid.
I move, struggling against the constraint
not allowing me to move my arms.
I let fear rise up in me, but push it back down,
and keep this feeling to myself.
In this strange, smooth vastness
I am completely immobile.
I wasn’t meant for this.
If I maneuver a bit I can see behind me,
I shall find a way out.
The chair is angled a bit more now,
but still not enough.
My eyes are good but I cannot seem to find a door.
The monster is back,
like a saturnine cloud, stifling and forbidding.
What is it doing?
It swarms around me.
I close my eyes and will it away.
It’s still in my head. There’s no way to skirt it.
Out. Out. Out.
I own nothing, the voices control
every aspect of my life and being
Cheer up, the nurses say.
They tap my shoulder encouragingly,
not that they actually mean it.
I want nothing to do with this wretched place.
I could only imagine getting out of this room.
No door. No windows. Just these blank walls.
I am merciless to my mind.
All the loud and hollow noises.
The dark figures.
The taunting.
The terror.     
Inspired by:“Strayed Crab”
by Elizabeth Bishop