Great concept; excellent vocab; just generally superb. If I had to nitpick at something, I would say the rythym is a little uneven, but you can hardly notice it through the beautiful language.

Hey, I was browsing Teen Ink and came across your poem. I like all the vivid language and the meter flows very well (which is sadly growing less and less common these days). The first two stanzas were very mysterious--in fact, so mysterious that I had no idea what they were about. The pronouns are what got me the most. In the first stanza, it's all "I"--first person. In the second stanza it's "you"--second person. Then in the third stanza, it's all of a sudden "he"...by the fourth stanza I kind of lost track.

However, with a few changes in the wording, these problems would be fixed in no time. Overall I think your poem has a lot of potential!!!

I really love this!