I sit on the phone listening to you being wonderful again.
As your lies bend through my ears and mock my heart.
Scraping my lips with my teeth,
I remember this familiar awareness of pain.
And I’m being naive,
but you have changed for the worst,
and I hate your new life, because I’m not apart of it anymore.

"You see I used to lie on your chest and count your eyelashes as you slept, all 53 of them, over and over all the while counting the reasons why I love you, just to lose count in the middle and have to start all over again.
You were too amazing, just looking at you made me shiver.
And we used to lock fingers when we had to say good-bye, just so when we walked away, we would be pulled right back to each other.




I remember how I used to guess what kind of chips you had just ate when you kissed me. I would yell out my prediction and you would laugh with “ How did you guess” shining in your eyes.
I miss the way your facial hair burned my cheek when you would put your ear to my ear and say your were trying to hear my heart smile.
I miss pretending like I hung up just to find out you pretended to hang up, just to be back to us [pretending] like we wanted to go.
I miss the way we made everyone so angry because we would not separate for anything.
So badly we wanted to feel love, wanted it to tickle our ear, but the rest of the world wanted us to die alone.
Our love was like a song that started with me and ended with you, like a song undone.
I loved not knowing where our love was headed."

But
You never came last night too busy to share you world and a coke.
But this was all my choice; I decided to be in love with you
I didn’t fall.
But I guess it’s your call.
You win, I lose.
It’s my own fault I shouldn’t have put my heart in my minds position.
Unhurried my heart dies
And as the tears stain my eyes
I say good-bye.
I loved you once
kept you close to me in a locket
that locket is in the fire now.
melting the metal.
shriveling your face.
Swallowing deep I hold back tears,
and the cry that burns beyond my silent tongue.
while could have been.
would have been.
should have been
memories linger in the smoke.