Dear Fellow Failures of the Written World,

Failures, I am writing to say YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I, too, feel the sting of rejection, the bitter taste of defeat and the indescribable churning of the stomach to read THEIR beauteous prose typed so refined, so elegant on the white page. I too, with laptop/pen/pencil curse my misfortune at the wrong wording, the mistaken sentence, the misplaced comma. Maybe genetics and Darwin too are to blame for my (OUR!!) lack of creativity. Or maybe society’s twisted upbringing—yes it’s SOCIETY’S fault! So maybe I can’t piece together graceful similes like mismatched quilts, but the written word backs up in me too, and the traditional outlet leads to appalling poetry and prose in ME TOO! So, all you failures out there HEAR MY CRY! Curse not yourself, but THEM!!! “Them”: poets and poetesses destined for greatness, composing winning poetry that touches the soul and the heart, bah! OUR pens are mightier than THEIR pens! We can crush them with NUMBERS!!!!!!!!
So.

Who’s with me?