children’s voices fill my ears
they flew around the playground
like buzzing bees in a field of daises,
my pen rolls across the paper
flowing like a rushing river
spilling thoughts on the lines.
these thoughts make me wonder
how naïve these kids can be
from an infinite concept
like happiness,
criminals can’t snatch it away
so easily; they can clutch it
with stone hands
and never let go.
my daze gets interrupted
as a ball rolls under my bench
I quickly jump and grab the ball
A little girl with cotton pigtails
is skipping my way,
she looks oddly familiar,
I wonder what’s her name?
A faint smile comes from me
as I pass the ball,
she returns a smile back
but then frowns,
catching me off guard by asking,
“Are you sad?”

my throat couldn’t resonate a sound
and my mouth couldn’t spill any words.
She takes off her bracelet of flowers,
hands it to me and says,
“here’s for a better day”
then she skips, skips away…

I’m lost in confusion
holding this little object
and how that little girl
could tell how I’ve been
these past few months
by taking one glance
at my solemn face.
How did she know?
Who is she?
I heard a mother
call for her daughter
I see her skip, skip away once again
“Alexa” was her name.
Then I remembered
where I saw those cotton pigtails,
10 years ago, in my own mirror,
when I was a naïve kid
just like them, like her
who once knew how to keep
happiness in their stone hands.
I clutch the bracelet
close to my heart
so maybe it could return the exuberance
I used to hold so tightly
back into my delicate palms.
Like how children clench their teddies
for their nightly slumbers,
this will be my reminder
that despite all my tragedies
laid upon me
I will find remedies
for a broken heart
one day,
the happiness will stop
finding an urge
to skip, skip away;

that’s what I would’ve wanted
10 years ago,
a kid like me
only ever had dreams
where the sun rises high
and the sky never cries;
this is my fantasy
of eternal serenity.

(a.k.)
allison keels