No one ever taught me
what it is to have your heart broken
to lose your greatest friend
to dream that in another day you will see someone
who simply won't be there for you anymore

and I have lost so many
and been alone for so long
to be with you was like finally reaching heaven
then falling from the grace of god
and I know that in such things you do not believe in
but let me say it in this light:
I fell against the reality I have known all along
and that, I think you can understand

the world I once tolerated
is now tainted with a sort of blood
not of my own and not of your’s either
but of something sweet and something kind
something innocent

something
that did not deserve to die

I wish I could cry
or scream
or even destroy
but desolation does not give in to such feeling
it is hollow and leaves you with nothing at all
I can be an empty shell
or a bird that no longer remembers how to take flight

while others who’ve pained me
I am grateful to have known
you are a monster
a monster

that I still wish to behold