You confuse me,

You make my head spin in circles
Why won’t you tell me the truth?
Say it out loud
You do not love me,
You never did.
But I always knew that, didn’t I?
You are a terrible liar.

I’ve grown addicted to this pain,
Whether it is mental or physical.
I ache to hit something,
To cause destruction.
To have blood dripping from my hands,
Adrenaline pumping throughout every single vein.
You are a terrible liar.

But I’m submerged within their shadows,
Nothing but darkness to kiss my cheeks.
I am a freak in their eyes,
Although your parents shouldn’t judge you,
I’m a dog in a pack of wolves,
But what else can I do?
You are a terrible liar.

There is no escape for me,
Because I am just the middle child.
I do everything you ask of me,
Yet I still get fewer acknowledgements.
Even if I were perfect,
Something I could never be.
I wouldn’t be one of your utmost desires,
Because favoritism is your greatest fault.
You love those that need you,
And I guess I don’t fall under that category.

Even if I left letters of weakness,
Outside your door,
You wouldn’t care anymore.
Am I not what you want?
You know what, don’t answer that.
You are still a terrible liar.

You strangle me with your words of rejection,
You kick me with your own ignorance,
I watch silently as you try to get to me.
All of your attempts, failing
I’ve grown used to this feeling of betrayal.
There’s nothing left you can do.
I want you to feel how I feel.
But you still don’t have a clue.
You are a terrible liar.

There is no better soothing,
Than to feel the pain of my abyss.
Because when my eyes are closed,
And my dreams will transpire,
I am no longer trapped underneath your fingers.
I am entire.
You are a terrible liar.