Hades pulled up in a new Mercedes
Down to the realm of those pushing daisies

The bi-millennial, sub-terrestrial dance he was hosting
Was open to all who were eternally roasting
With an Imp aplenty and some jovial boasting
Lucifer himself then began toasting:

“Although many here may find it queer,
That a celebration would ever be held here
There is a slice for every vice,
Naughty or nice; we were even able to bring down some ice!”

Most everyone was in attendance
Various victims of some penance
The deadly sins made their entrance
Blessing the premises with an unholy presence

Gluttony handled the cooking and catering
The main course muttony – with special “flavoring”
And although the taste wasn’t really worth savoring
They admired his effort, always unwavering

Lust was seated at a sable table
Unable to keep his libido stable
Sitting quietly, watching every passerby
Eagerly waiting for one to catch his eye

Greed felt the immoral need
To bring the demonic breed of speed
By this side was a pint of mead
Smoking souls of passed partygoers, lively indeed

The dance floor kept raving
And Wrath suddenly felt a craving,
Paving a way to the middle of the pack
In his haste, mistakenly gave Envy a whack

“How dare you!” Shouted Envy, fists clenched in rage
As he charged toward Wrath, looking to engage
Someone spoke to assuage; Precarious Pride, a handsome fellow
Intervened to make the situation more mellow

Pride said “Calm down my friend!
Bring this madness to an end!”
Pride was attacked, like an Abel to Cain
(An effort in vain, for there was no death in this domain)

All this while Sloth sat, eyed filled with rheum
Quiet and solitary, in the coat room
Feeling no pinch of glee or sorrow
He wanted only to sleep, until tomorrow.

These events were told to me by Neil
An old friend who once felt the need to steal
A small cut of veal; he just wanted a meal
Due to that ordeal, his hell is now real.