Before I turned 10, I was diagnosed with PTSD and as time went on, I was eventually diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. It affected everything in my life; the relationships I had with people, my academics, how I felt about myself, etc. It literally took over my life and crippled me. I couldn't step outside of my house and because of that I gained more than 100 pounds. I couldn’t even get out of bed sometimes. It felt like the ground I stood on was crumbling and I had no one to hold onto anymore. I wrote this when I was going through a dark time…I was fifteen. I didn’t know how to express myself. I didn’t know how to explain to someone that I was really struggling. I wanted someone to listen but how could they if I wasn’t really saying anything? That was three years ago... I’m nineteen now and 2014 has been the first year for a very long time where I have actually been mentally and emotionally stable. We all go through many obstacles and some rise from it, but some fall first. We hit rock bottom and our future seems dark. We don’t think anything good is coming our way and life doesn’t seem worth living anymore. But if I can say one thing that I hope will change that mindset, it would be that something good will come your way. You will fall, but you will also rise…stronger and even better. You will see that there is truly a light at the end of this dark tunnel and man, is it beautiful! You are worth something, you have a purpose on this earth, and you are amazing! You might think you’re alone and no one understands, but honey, you’re not alone. I understand, a lot of people understand, but it is up to you to make that first step to ask for help and open up. It’s hard, trust me, I know, but once you let it all go, you are on your way to a better life. I share this piece of writing in hopes that it reaches through to just one person. You’re not alone, and you never will be.

Hurt. Confused. Lost. Angry.
My heart is so heavy.
Can you hear me?
Can you see behind the fake smile?
Can you see past the laughs?
Can you see ME?
Listen!
Open your eyes. Open your ears.
See me. Hear me.
Look past the smiles and the laughter.
Look at me. I am hurt; the scars are all over.
Can’t you see?
They never heal, they are deep.
Help me.
I am lost. I thought I found a path
I followed it but now I’m lost.
I thought I could do it alone.
Help me.
Hear me.
Listen. Please…
I am angry.
Redness. Fire flares all over.
It has possessed my heart.
It’s destroying my soul.
Listen.
Hear me. SEE ME.
The wall I have?
Break it.
When I run away?
Grab me.
I am so scared.
Fear holds me back.
Help me! See me! LISTEN!
Listen between the lines.
When I say, “Nothing.”
It’s really something.
Please don’t give up…
I need someone to listen!
Read between the lines!
Hear me. Hear ME.
Help me get up… for I have fallen.
I don’t know if it’ll get better.
Help. Help me.
Please…
Hear me.
See me.
Why aren’t you listening?