what if one day it's all going fine, it's all going weirdly okay. and you're all calm, not sad but not happy either. you're walking, you hear people talking. then a sudden feeling that something is about to occur. next thing you know you're on the ground, something didn't spot you crossing the street. you stare with amazement and confusion. why are you looking at yourself on the ground with blood coming out from all over your body. cops, ambulances. the people, the mothers with their kids trying to cover their little eyes. but nothing will ever hide the fact that they witnessed something so terrifying. sobs, and screams. you look all around and everything is so damn loud you can't think. you yell, you scream, you speak. why can't anyone hear you ? why isn't anyone listening. "I'm here, I'm okay" , "look right here". you say and so you run towards your body on that concrete ground, you touch but you can't feel. you can't feel nothing at all. you use all that force you think you have to get in that spot, in the spot where your body is layin' . you know what happened but you don't want to except it. you don't wanna believe, you can't, but you remember just a few days ago that urge to disappear was all you felt. "did this actually happen?,can this really be true, why don't I feel a thing? what the hell is going on". you run toward where your house is, you go inside and there everyone is your mother, your brothers and surprisingly your father. "why is mama crying? why is is daddy sighing ? why do they look so remorseful?" you think to your self, "why is this all so hurtful" but you yell, you scream. "I'm here, look I'm right here, pay attention I'm right here, I always was, just stop, please I demand you to stop. smile, be happy, finally we are all together but why did this have to happen in order for is to reunite",
you tremble, you shake. your whole world suddenly crumbles. you don't want to admit it, you don't want to remember. you don't want to think, but frankly it was all clear. no one can feel you, not even mama as you played with her hair. not even papa as you kissed him on the cheek. not even your siblings as you hugged them together, so tightly, so sadly. no one can hear you, not them , not no one. no one can see you as you went on your knees, as you locked your hands tightly yelling "please". as you waved your hands looking straight into theirs eyes. you feel helpless, your scared, you feel agony. you feel such a strong burden punching through your chest. this Is what you wanted. now this is how you will feel, it's done. now go see for yourself what you let go.