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Smidgen Smile
April 4, 2014
Leave, what others know
Leave, what others feel
Let go with what I know
Tis my time thee to reveal
Unveiling portrait
Thy smidgen smile is sine qua non
Jovial nature as Sophia’s angel
Stylish style, dullness unknown
My thundering heart, beseeching to mingle
Elsewhere, my world is completely dark
Whilst thy face illumine tis world and grins
My happiness silently stark
Meh life as true fir, with unfoiled fins
Clothed black on grey, grey on white light
Now not that roving plover
But thee beloved lover
Cease hide an hide, Our Plight ?
© Brit H., Peabody, MA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 28 comments.
Promethean SILVER said...
on Oct. 14 2014 at 7:40 pm
lol thankyou.
Trin_Freckles GOLD said...
on Oct. 14 2014 at 7:35 pm
You have this way with words, that is amazing!!!
Promethean SILVER said...
on Oct. 14 2014 at 7:35 pm
thanks you feather and emily.
feathertail said...
on Oct. 8 2014 at 11:21 am
Nice poem! You're really talented Promethean. Keep it up! :)
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND said...
on Oct. 6 2014 at 3:57 pm
Wow. This is really and very well-written. I hope more of your work is coming. You really do have a lot of talent and greatness in you. You are a wonderful and amazing writer and person. This is beautiful, your poem. Thank you so much, sharing this. :)
Promethean SILVER said...
on Sep. 6 2014 at 7:26 am
thankyou friend.
Olivia-Atlet ELITE said...
on Aug. 1 2014 at 7:12 pm
Yay! I am excited to read more ;)
Promethean SILVER said...
on Aug. 1 2014 at 12:30 pm
yes, I will be writing much more. thankyou very much.
Olivia-Atlet ELITE said...
on Jul. 7 2014 at 12:53 pm
I really like this! Keep writing please! o^_^o
Promethean SILVER said...
on Jun. 29 2014 at 10:43 pm
thanskyou ghosssssssssst beam
Sunshine2420 SILVER said...
on Jun. 24 2014 at 8:35 am
You're welcome :)
Promethean SILVER said...
on Jun. 22 2014 at 7:49 pm
thank you thankyou :D :)
Sunshine2420 SILVER said...
on May. 16 2014 at 10:28 am
Hmm... impressive and well written ;)
Promethean SILVER said...
on May. 10 2014 at 11:21 pm
thanks, will not do that in future.
Ok, really, really good work. I know the old English adds a fresh dimension to the poem, but was that really necessary? I really like some of the structures used, like 'my Thundering heart'. However, my biggest problem here is your description. You readers have the right to interpret it freely, which the description kinda distorts. But the poem, in itself, is great. I'm happily rating it 5/5. Keep up the good work.
Promethean SILVER said...
on May. 4 2014 at 6:29 am
Thank you Phoenix!!!!!
Promethean SILVER said...
on May. 4 2014 at 6:28 am
Thank you. I am very happy but why my wording are odd, can you explain me?
PhoenixTears GOLD said...
on Apr. 24 2014 at 12:39 am
Wow! Wonderful work within! It's immediately eye-catching! :) wonderful
In the first para, I am basically describing a girl's photo and her sweet smile. I started with a clear statement that I will only tell what I know . I will not say anything that others say about her. I have realized that I must reveal what I feel about her.
In the second para, I am telling that if someone wants to think of her portrait then a tiny tiny smile on her face is very important precondition. She is always smiling. I haven't seen her sad. She is very good towards to me. Her nature is as good as an angel called Sophia who is the goddess of love. She looks stylish and one can never portray dullness on her face. Lastly my heart wants to tell something very important. It want us to be one, as a whole. We both are incomplete without each others.
Second para reveals about my world which is full of sadness. My heart is all dark with no hopes remaining but when she smiles her face illuminates with light and this consoles me. Her smile fills me with delight and happiness. Her smile makes my life as an evergreen tree which is full of success.
In her portrait, she usually wears grey color. her skin is white and her hairs are dense black. I now comes to main point that tells what I was without her. I was like a man with no house, no success and no reason that could impel me to live this life. Her smile made me fall in love with her and thus finally I asks her to cease her shyness and also about our old promise which she made in my dream. The promise to be life long partners.