I was gonna text MONSTER
text him all that inappropriate stuff they tell you not to do
but the in the minute between the texts
waiting for that familiar tone
the same way I did when it was with... him
I guess I wasn't feeling it anymore
So I just said
"bye"
and left him
wondering
what even happened
and I really can't explain
why
but what did happen is
I texted Sean
because he's 21
and he's gay
and he's strong
and so I said
"hey,
are you awake?"
because
maybe
maybe if he was awake
he'd call me on the phone
and he'd talk to me
with his warm deep voice
and it wrap up my soul
and take me deep, deep underground
where no one else could touch me
ever again
but he didn't answer
so I cried alone in my bed