Dear mum,
You said you'd always be there,
But you're nowhere to be found,
I cant believe you left me,
I feel so low beneath the ground.

Theres nothing I can do now,
I trusted you with all my heart,
But now you're gone,
You're the one who tore my life apart.

I've learned not to trust,
Theres nothing more to say,
You've lost someone special,
You cant get back each day.

Now you're the one left in the dark,
And all of a sudden you feel my pain,
You'll expect me to take you back,
But you'll still feel you're not to blame.

I could never forgive you,
Even if I tried,
You can never make up,
For the lonely nights ive cried.

You will never know the feeling,
Of losing the person you need most,
To laugh and cry and love you,
Instead of making you feel like a ghost.

Im moving on with my life,
Without you by my side,
My pain has kept so long,
Im telling you how I feel inside.

In a way I want to thank you,
Because of you im strong,
I just wanted you to know,
I didnt turn out wrong.

Its so hard not to cry,
Knowing my mother is barely around,
Seeing girls so close to their mother,
But its as if mines already in the ground.

Trying to smile when im with you,
Never seems to faze me,
You were always the "cool mum"
But now you dont even care about me.

So now when you need me,
I hope you know I wont be there,
I hope one day you read this,
And it brings you a world of fear.

I dont want your fake hugs,
And fake understanding,
I want a mum,
Who is never-ending.

You are blind,
You can never see,
All the sadness,
Built up inside of me.

I hated life,
I wanted out,
You didnt care,
So I had to do without.

I felt so alone,
Thought I didnt need anyone,
It turns out,
I just needed my mum.

I need a mum,
But you're not there,
To talk about first jobs,
Or fix my hair.

Yes, you did text,
Every once in a while,
But an ocean of tears,
Hide behind this smile.

Times heals everything,
I dont think thats true,
I know something,
Time will not do.

Time will be flying,
For a long while,
Ill always be trying,
To show a real smile.

And these next few years,
Will be really hard,
For the rest of my life,
Ill be severely scarred.

It took me time to realize,
What you've done to me,
Tears in my eyes,
And you're clueless it seems.

I try to be brave,
But it really hurts,
You could've stayed,
Instead of making it worse.

I want you to know this,
Sad but its true,
You've hurt your little girl,
And your little boy too.

There is a hole in my heart,
That the doctors wont see,
I guess they dont know,
What my mum did to me.

When I call for you,
Will you hear a sound?
I guess you wont,
Because you'll never be around.

The pain you have made me feel,
The situation, just unreal,
You're supposed to be there for me,
But now a mother you'll never be.

The pain was already numb,
But yet the torture isnt done,
When will you give up?
Because im telling you its enough.

You turned away on me,
But still you cant see,
So now im turning on you,
We're through.

Cause I cant live my life wondeting where you are,
Laying on the lawn, looking up into the stars,
You left my eyes dry,
From all the nights you made me cry.

And soon I will have to say:
"When I was only 16 years old,
My mummy went away,
She swore she'd always love me,
But said she couldnt stay.

Days turned into weeks,
And weeks turned into years,
I nevet saw my mother,
And she never saw my tears.

She never taught me to cook,
Or tucked me in at night,
She never showed up for my birthdays,
But I always hoped she might.

She missed my first day of work,
And all my lazy days,
She doesnt know how smart i am,
Or my newly adapted ways.

Sometimes I want to call her,
To say, hey mum, im still alive!
Ill be 18 years old soon,
Will you teach me how to drive?"

What started it?
What really went wrong?
Was our familys love,
Not as strong?

Sometimes I wish my life were different,
In a much better way,
Hoping that god would give me,
Just one good day.

Ill always love you my dear mother,
But you are no longer the same,
You're not the person I went on bike rides with,
Or played with on dance games.

You're not the person who chased after me,
To make sure I was safe,
Or the person whom when I was sad,
Made me feel like I was in a better place.

So I wrote this poem,
To try and make you understand,
How I feel deep inside,
Without a mother holding my hand.

And ive lost my best friend,
My superwoman in disguise,
Whom forever I will remember,
With tears in my eyes.

But I will tell you something,
You will never forget,
Once you hurt your kids,
It will soon come to regret.

Goodbye mummy,
Sophia.