My whole life my heart desired your love
As my mind conspired against the truth
Since the day I was born for me your hatred
Grew just like the salty, blue tears
Of a little girl consumed by fears with no choice but lie
About going to bed happy but really dreaming
to die. For it’s easy to dream
In a place you’re relieved by loves
Sweet embrace instead of reality’s lies
And despite what you thought you can’t handle the truth
Because all your fears turn into a string of tears
That crash on the ground bursting with hate
Because whole heartedly I hate
The reality we live in. Don’t you agree? It’s more fun to dream
Of a world where no one must cry salty blue tears
For even the meanest mothers hearts burst with love
For you may trick me with the truth
But don’t dare ever comfort me with a lie
But I’m older now and I’ve grown wise to your lies
I’m older now and my patience has turned to hate
The angst has churned in my stomach to long and that’s the truth
Once I leave I’ll never see your face in my dreams
It’s sad really? For a mother and daughter to share no love
Even if their relationship was only based on tears
That’s insecurities turned into skins tears
That beg, and cry, and bleed, and lye
So deep in the wrists of the ones were supposed to love
Even though the only people who notice you’re obligated to hate
So you lock yourself away just to dream
Of a world where at least you know the truth
Unlike the feast of ignorance your parents have pretending they know the truth
Despite how hard they try to deny and hide the tears
They’ve coasted themselves because they’ve forgotten how to dream
Being too worried about how not to lie
So many years I’ve went on hating myself and hating
You all because you never taught me how to be loved
And now it all feels like a dream, one where you can’t remember the whole truth.
People tell me stories about their loving, Families and it makes me want to tear.
But I swallow my fear and lie, because when you die you’ll have no one left to hate.