No, I am not an "it"
I am not numb on the inside, like your mind has convinced you.
I am a girl with emotions and pride
And like the ocean's tide,
I will drag you deep into my open
Yet barely broken,
Heart.
Although I have felt the pain,
Of every single name that has rolled off your razor blade tongue,
I refused to feel ashamed
For who I am.

What even is your gender anymore?
I don't know you anymore.
As if it's not clear anymore?
As if I'm wearing some mask?
I am a girl, I remind you, mother
And because I like the same,
Is not a reason for you to feel the blame.

I will clothe myself in dresses for you,
Strap myself down in a pair of tights, too.
I will try to make everything appear "right"
For you.

Mother, you can gladly paint on my smile,
I would do that for you.
But even then,
I will wake up in the morning,
Drenched in my bed.
As if the snake has bitten me,
The venom will be dripping
In my head.
It will forever be the sweet reminder
Of all the things you ever said.