The Dos Equis guy

Ha! What a joke

To quote Ron Burgandy,
“I don’t know how to say this...
but I’m kind of a big deal.
People know me.”

I guess the only way to say this would be:

Sharks have a week dedicated to me
When horses go to the doctor,

they are told they are as healthy as I am
Birds go me-watching
I taught Neil Patrick Harris the art of being a Sir
I once took a trip to the Virgin Islands

Now they’re called the…never mind
Sigmund Freud repressed his memories of me

They were too awesome for him to handle
And I found Jimmy Hoffa

the Loch Ness Monster


and Schrodinger’s cat,



all at the same time.

Need I say anything else?

I don’t always write poems about myself,

but when I do,


everything in them is a lie.

Stay poetic, my friends.