I am just a pug.
Sitting on the top of my families couch,
Ruining the couch cushions with my fat a**.

I love when Lisa sits on the couch with me.
I get to kick her in the back of the head,
And sneeze all over her hair.
She loves when I do that.

I hate going out in the cold,
My little tiny legs are so brittle,
They can’t hold up twenty pounds.

Lisa takes me for long walks,
But i can’t stand long walks,
I’m way too fat!

If she takes me for one more step I’ll pass out.
I won’t stand it.
I’m going to sit down in the middle of the road to take a break.
Lisa pulls and pulls,
But she can’t move my fat a**.

I eventually catch my stinky breath,
And trot on home to snuggle with her on MY couch.