today
i loved you,
simply out of selfishness.
i was sick of myself
and everyone else
who i had been with for too long,
so long i could not remember.
and so i loved you,
because you were different than
all the others i had known.
because of your boldness;
your skin like the snow,
your mind like the ocean.
it was as though i was
stepping on swords,
as i tried to tame
your wild instincts.
silently
i screamed your name
but you were blinded by
your own exotic ways,
more exciting than my own.
and tomorrow,
where will we be tomorrow?
in the same starting square,
like plastic game pieces landing
where the board says, “go back”
like those stupid games that
keep kids entertained for hours.
for hours i have been chasing you,
your skin like the snow
your mind like the ocean,
and your smile.
not realizing
how misleading your eyes can be,
you smile.
and as i try to tame
your wild instincts,
i realize that i had loved you
simply out of selfishness.