Song of Inspiration | Teen Ink

Song of Inspiration

July 25, 2009
By AngelForeverBleedingLove DIAMOND, Frederic, Wisconsin
AngelForeverBleedingLove DIAMOND, Frederic, Wisconsin
65 articles 3 photos 248 comments

Favorite Quote:
You say you don't remember,
But I will never forget


Hands held high at the start of the end
We'll be together then, my friends

Believe in me because I know we can take it
Take the world into out hands, if only just for a moment
We'll strike the chords of chaos to heal their broken hearts
And chip away the silence to mend their bleeding souls

Believe in me because I know we can make it
Make them all understand, if only just for a moment
Our words will break the barrier of things said and left unsaid
But most of all, they'll finally see, they'll finally understand

Believe in me because I know we can take it
To take the step to lead us there, if only just for a moment
Each note will kill the pain of things said, said untrue
The door to truth will be unhinged, the lies will be forgotten

Believe in me because I know we can make it
Make this world a better place, if only just for a moment
Maybe one day this world will be full of love and hope
Perhaps then too we'll all agree, agree to disagree

Believe in me because I know we can take it
Take the world into our hands, if only just for a moment
I'll keep playing my six-string till the day we all find peace
But until that day, that shining day, our song will never end

Hands held high at the start of the end
We'll be together then my friends



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This article has 7 comments.


on May. 11 2010 at 9:07 am
AngelForeverBleedingLove DIAMOND, Frederic, Wisconsin
65 articles 3 photos 248 comments

Favorite Quote:
You say you don't remember,
But I will never forget

Yeah there was a typo in the second stanza, but that happens sometimes. I felt that putting "if only for a moment" in there made my readers understand what I was trying to get them to understand. Thanks for the comment!

-Angel


on Mar. 27 2010 at 10:52 am
KatstertheMaster SILVER, Like I&#39d Tell You ;-), Florida
7 articles 1 photo 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I don't really think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
Ellen DeGeneres

Sorry that the second part repeated-I don't know how that happened...

on Mar. 27 2010 at 10:51 am
KatstertheMaster SILVER, Like I&#39d Tell You ;-), Florida
7 articles 1 photo 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I don't really think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
Ellen DeGeneres

I liked your poem :)

what I liked: how the pictures somehow fit with the poem, how the beginning and the end are the same, i could tell it was heartfelt, you rhymed occasionally but didn't feel contained by it, you used a healthy dose of repitition

constructive criticism: second line second stanza-is "out" supposed to be "our?" , sometimes the addition of "if only just for a moment" messes up the flow/rhythm/consistency-i like that line, but maybe you could change other parts around so that the flow could still be constant

Great job with your poem!


Carol BRONZE said...
on Jan. 29 2010 at 3:45 pm
Carol BRONZE, Weslaco, Texas
3 articles 1 photo 33 comments
Woooooow. Literally, wow. This poem is amazing. And the picture you chose completely goes with the poem. Good job :)

on Sep. 13 2009 at 9:32 pm
CosmicHorse95 PLATINUM, Milltown, Wisconsin
20 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
There is nothing better for the inside of a person than the outside of a horse.

wow, this one is sooooooo great! you've never showed me this one!

on Aug. 21 2009 at 4:25 pm
AngelForeverBleedingLove DIAMOND, Frederic, Wisconsin
65 articles 3 photos 248 comments

Favorite Quote:
You say you don't remember,
But I will never forget

Thank you! I was surprised too, but I just figured my work wasn't actually THAT good. You know?

on Aug. 19 2009 at 4:52 pm
ramnapotter PLATINUM, Toronto, Other
26 articles 1 photo 90 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow...”

Truthfully, I'm extremely surprised that there are no comments here about your work. I love it! Writing is made up of only one thing, heartfelt words. And trust me, you have those in here. Ode to you!

Kudos.