“I have to keep looking up, 

keep grasping the light.”

In hopes for any sign of something good, some way out. 

A ladder? A rope? An angel? A miracle?

Or to simply stay stuck, to give up.

Do I give up?

Help me out.

Praying, calling, that just maybe I’ll be heard. 

Frozen in my thoughts, too many at once, 

my mind going back and forth, back and forth,

Does it ever stop?

Why am I the way I am? Why can’t I be okay?

Why am I here? Why can’t I enjoy being here?

I should help myself.

It's going to be okay, I'll dig myself out. I can find a way. 

Fighting, struggling, scratching my way out.

The dirt and gravel fall back onto me, pushing me back, but I have to keep going. 

I'm going to get out.

The light is shining, the steps are coming more clear, I'm going to be okay.

Then the storm comes. 

I feel a heavy weight pushing me back down.

The steps behind me plummet, one after another, they keep going. 

The storm has eroded all progress made.

I'm back at base one, the bottom of the pit.

Why does this have to happen?

Stuck in frustration, questioning everything possible.

Will it ever get better? Will I ever get out?

Trapped in my head, trapped in the dark.

Am I not worthy of help? Am I not worthy of loving myself? Am I not worthy of happiness?

Why can't I be okay? I just want to be okay. 

Stuck in a cycle of pushing forward only to be pushed back. 

The loop does not end. But will it ever? 

Just get me out.