My Dear ____________.

I don’t remember much of you, but

I remember the way 

you used to laugh. 

I remember

the late nights we spent together,

Talking,

Stargazing,

Collecting “treasure” that 

wasn’t worth a dime.

All amongst the stars.

I remember each little adventure,

wandering through the woods, or

Imagining our future partners.

Pretending that 

each day was our last,

Right before your parents 

called us in for dinner

____________.

I hate you,

But only for what you’ve done.

What you’ve decided to do.

You left without a word,

Not even a goodbye.

And I walked into that very room

Experiencing your lifeless body.

Dangling,

from above.

Cried out in fear,

Vouched

To never let anybody in.

Young and impressionable,

I didn’t understand the signs

Or why you were suddenly so happy

The day before your helpless tragedy.

I denied you

for months.

Tried to forget the things I saw. 

A tightened noose.

across your neck.

Burns of the skin,

Against the things I grasped so dearly.

Your warmly 

pale skin turned bright, 

rigid.

Your weightful body taken, 

Into the arms of my own.

Your envious spirit

Our memories

Shredded, by the weight

upon your shoulders

But my mind made it impossible to forget.

I still wonder to this day,

If I could’ve saved you, 

and your body. 

Your health, 

And maybe even your Happiness.

Growing up 

I began to understand

More of why you did what you’ve done.

Even attempted

your copy a couple of times.

But, I’ve come to recognize that

It wasn’t worth it.

Oh god, 

it wasn’t worth it. 

After years.

I began to forgive you 

piece by piece,

But, 

Only after I began

to learn that I, Was 

not responsible 

for your life.

or your choices.

From time to time,

I still see you,

In that dirty old room.

Lost,

In a reflection of time.

You can now never escape.

Regret fills in,

Meeting you.

But I know now what 

I never knew then.

____________. Love always wins.

I wish you could be,

here for such insights..

Thank you.

My dear,  _____________.