Dear name-not-to-be-mentioned

Or should I say rat, seeing as rats eat their own feces 

As you did your words and broken promises.

Munching down on them as they turned to crispy chips. 

Though may I add, rats are one of the cleanest animals,

But you couldn’t even bear to shower once a week. 

Allowing the filth to cover you, infecting your mouth. 

Leading to the words dripping out like venom from a snake's mouth.

Though at least snakes act fast, 

Snakes don’t let the sting linger, making its prey suffer. 

The venom acts fast, taking seconds to reach the bloodstream of a human.

So maybe the next time the venom leaves your mouth you act a bit faster. 

Maybe next time the venom leaves you will feel the guilt, the empathy of how that person may feel.

Instead you would smile, your smile like weeds within a garden. 

Some may thought them to be pretty, but they only cause chaos and hurt…

Your words would wrap around hearts, allowing the blood to spew.

Venom cascading over the minds of kittens

Your words dug into skin as a tick does with a puppy

Helpless. 

Though that was your target, was it not?...

Now have you heard axolotls’ can regenerate up to 5 times, 

various parts of their bodies able to be repaired? 

Well if you didn’t know humans don’t work as such, 

One cut can scar, lasting forever. 

So as your words sliced up my skin it only struck buried deep.

Like lightning striking the heart. 

And no I may not have memory as good as water does, 

But I can at least take the time to remember to process what goes through my mind 

Before spitting it out…

‘Actions speak louder than words’, yeah, but is this really true? 

Because I know each scar or bruise left on my body didn’t hurt nearly as much.

I know the actions you did cut me so so so deep, but not as much as those words did.

Maybe you thought I was a flower, 

Something that couldn’t speak a word, yet said so much.

If you were struggling so much, why couldn’t you just communicate?

My, you spoke more than a parrot, but not one time could you communicate.

Not once could you slip a sorry from your snake like tongue. 

With all that said, even a dog can communicate better than you. 

Were you aware that dogs understand the word ‘no’? 

After the word no slips from your tongue the pup is sat down, patient, with big listening eyes

Ready to hear more. 

How come a dog. A dog. 

How come this animal knows no, but you can’t seem to? 

I said no, I said I was tired, I said I was sick, my throat hurts.

My throat hurt so badly, that didn’t matter though did it? 

It didn’t matter that I was crying?  That I was struggling to stay alive? 

No. It didn’t. 

Not the slightest bit, it only mattered that you were pleased. 

When I went to bring this up you suddenly lost all memory? 

Who has the memory of a goldfish now, huh? 

I told you of my past, told you how I hated things like this, but suddenly it’s all in the past…

Oh, but you remember the one time I accidentally drifted to sleep without saying goodnight?

May I add, did you know humans need 8-9 hours of sleep a night? 

Though maybe you have your own world?

A world with bloody clouds 

Red gardens, the weeds as teeth in your mouth.

Maybe in this world the sleep I'd need was only 5 minutes? 

Maybe if I didn’t sleep I'd become so blind to the toxic waste I was breathing in.

This may be why I was kept up till 6 each night.

Maybe you wanted me to be so tired I’d grow delusional.

This letter was written in hopes you’d finally see the damage you’ve done

Maybe for once you’d stop blaming others for the sh*t you do. 

Though that’d be impossible for you. 

Sincerely, who you said you ‘loved’.