I am stable right 
 
Mean I am always laughing
 
and always joking with a big grin on my face.
 
but why do I feel so small
 
so alone and unworthy
 
do I need help am I a monster
 
why do I get  negative feelings some more dangerous
 
then bad.
 
More scarier is that the thing I hold in my hand is so bad but so sweet.
 
Am I addicted to doing drugs.
 
why dose it make me so happy and alive
 
why do I feel like a better Person when I do it.
 
as a amazing brain altering drug enters my body 
 
I feel relief I feel happy.
 
I am now a little stable now
 
I try not do drugs but in the
 
Really bad days I do and boy it’s amazing
 
all the drought and anger in my in my head 
 
it is a lot word I feel thing I have never felt before
 
I am starting to self-harm myself and it is Really bad 
 
I have to were long clothes now.
 
I am scared to be alone now.
 
I have nobody 
 
I am alone
 
why do my parents say nothing
 
just let me go ahead with everything.
 
am I a maniac
 
I am scared of death
 
but I so want it to come to me 
 
and end it all now so I don't have to
 
I am truly at my braking point of my stability