The brine of the slimy seaweed 

and the horrid stench of rotting fish

is not worth the exorbitant price

that clueless shoppers pay for you.

The bland flavor of chewy rice

with the unexpected crunch of sour cucumber

and the mushy browning avocado

is enough to make me hurl.

The insane saltiness of soy sauce

or the fiery heat of wasabi

makes me dash for a cold drink

even with the smallest taste.

I fumble with the confusing chopsticks

as I struggle to swallow down the raw tuna

or the thick and fatty smoked salmon

or the ooey-gooey crab chunks.

And sure

you look cute

sitting in a fancy plastic box

but no amount of posh packaging 

will make up for the absolutely vile snack 

that waits inside

because the California roll isn’t sunshine

the Heaven roll isn’t so divine

and the Spider roll is as scary as it sounds.

So, sushi

why charge people an absurd amount of money

for a lump of inedible waste?