There is so much disgust towards myself

I can not stand it

I do not understand why I can not accept myself

All the mean words I have heard over the years

I believe these things about myself

“You’re not normal!”

“You don’t belong!”

“Freak!” 

“Fatty!” 

“Piece of sh*t!”

“Ugly!”

“Annoying!”

“No one wants you!”

“Your weird!”

“You are dumb!”

“You have Autism and ADHD which makes you weird!”

Why do people say this about me?

I want to stop fitting myself into the molds of what people think

I want the bullying to stop

But, I know it won’t

How can people be so cruel?

I know I have great friends

I am grateful for the friends I have

But, sometimes I feel alone

I just ignore it to the best I can and keep pushing forward

It is hard to ignore it sometimes

But, don’t give your bullies the power to hurt you

Sometimes it is easier said than done

But, I continue to ignore it

How much longer can I ignore it though?

For now, I will keep ignoring it

People should be kind to one another

But, they do not treat me kindly

I do not fit in with everyone

Then, I do not feel good about myself

I feel like I will never be good enough for anybody

I wish people would get to know me before judging me

I feel like I am a failure to everyone

It feels like people always pick on all the negative about me

Why can I not be skinny?

Why can’t I be beautiful like everyone else?

I hate the I have so much disgust towards myself

I wish I could love myself for me

But, I can not do that

I want to be confident

But, I find it hard to be though

I want to think I am pretty

But, people won’t let me

Anytime I start feeling good about myself

People stop me from doing so

I do not know what to do

What should I do?

I am lost

I do not want to be lost anymore

I want to be found

I want to find my purpose