Aggravated with myself, 

Believing that things will change, that you will change....

Caught up in these thoughts,

Damage has taken place in me....

Eyes too heavy to open, 

Fought with all I had left in me....

Gave up because I was out of breath-

"Hold on tight!", I told myself, because it's been a long ride.

Ignited with fear deep down inside me.

Jealous that my life is so different from everyone else around me,

Known to be unrecognizable,

Leaning towards hope brings more failure,

Make it all go away please....

Normal is not even a thing....

Options are not actually options if they are "wrong"-

Peeking through the hole I am stuck in but no one can see me....

Quietness is how I "survive".

Reaching for help, but I have none....

Sinking further and further away from myself,

Tears dropping more and more every second,

Unkind words and actions thrown left and right,

Victory is someone else's lost.

Worried if I will even have a future,

X-rays don't work when you are psychologically hurt,

Youngness doesn't exist for me and never will,

Zoom, just like that, I'm gone....