What happened to us?

I feel the tears

 Rolling down my face

 Like the waves rolling in with the tide.

I run 

Shut my door

 Everyone thinks I'm fine.

I’m overthinking.

Was it my fault that everything ended?

If I didn't send that text calling him out,

 Just said hey back.

If I would have just stayed silent 

Again

  Just let my body take the toll. 

What happened?

What happened to the connection?

What happened to all the memories,

The “can’t wait to see you, I miss you” text.

What happened to the times 

Didn't have to hide things

 Didn’t fear losing you.

It’s always you I wanted to please.

Can’t just keep it in.

Lonely nights

 Stayed crying 

Gasping for breath. 

Sleeping 

my pillow

 soaked with the tears, 

Tears you caused.

No more “Goodnight” text.

No longer Facetiming.

No more hanging out.

Yet it’s always you I’d go back to.

What did I do?

 tried everything to keep you

 It didn't work.

  The other girl won.

College won.

Now I sit alone

 for hours 

In the dark.

 Listening to songs.

Songs that remind me of you,

  Smelling hoodies you gave me.

I thought I meant something to you.

Was I not worth the effort?

All relationships take effort

 I gave you all of mine.

Where were you half of the time?

Now I sit 

Not knowing what to do.

So used to pleasing you

 Every second,

Every day,

 It was like a job.

It was a job I loved 

Hard work,

Good work, but

Sadly the pain of heartbreak is like

 Your dog chewing up your worn, 

over hugged, 

Main protector,

 childhood teddy,

Like nothing.

Am I nothing?

Yet in my heart

 if you came back

 I know

 I would take you back, 

but

Did you ever care?

And do you ever think

What happened to us?