If you don't take the time to spend with your family, you'll miss out on amazing memories, and stories. Everyone isn't around forever so while you're able to see them you should at least try. this is a lesson I was taught the hard way.

Growing up, things were never easy. I went through lots of struggles, that no kid should have to even think about going through. My dad wasn't around much, and my mom was a heartbroken, depressed drug addict. My parents mistakenly had me at a young age. They thought they could do better, but unfortunately that's not how it all played out. lots of my childhood years were spent watching my parents either argue, or party. Don't get me wrong, my life hasn't always been that bad. My holidays and weekends were spent with family. Those were the good days. I always felt super happy, to be around my cousins. They were fortunate enough to not have to experience the type of childhood I had. . As we grew older I felt very judged, from my family. I never felt like they wanted to be around me anymore though , and I always felt like they didn't like me. When I finally reached my teen years, I push myself further away from them. My family even stopped getting together on holidays and weekends, and that made things worse for me, because I no longer had that to look forward to.

Still no sign from my dad, and my mom still, a broken hearted drug addict, picked up an alcohol Habit to top it all off. People hurt her, men hurt her. each, and every heartbreak leading to something new. She started spending less, and less, time with my brother and I, and more time with her newest boyfriend at the time.My brother and I, I moved in with my grandma, and since my great grandpa had just crushed his nose, from slipping and falling, he was staying with us too, with my great grandma of course. at this point I was without a mom or a dad, it felt. I was all alone. trapped inside of my dark mind, in my cold, boring, depressed room, alone. One sad, rainy day on May 23rd 2019, I came home to find out my grandpa had went to the hospital for a surgery we had been waiting on. My heart dropped, knowing that this could be his last day, terrified me. even though he lived with us, I only ever spoke to him a few times. I felt bad for him. we all knew he didn't have long left, and seeing him so hurt just saddened me, even more. we drove up to Kalamazoo Hospital, ; all of my family had already been there, waiting. All of us sat in the waiting room for hours, and hours, hoping for the best. Just holding onto what little hope we had. everyone, except my great grandma seemed phased. that's what made me look up to her so much. all this time I had been, running away from my emotions, hiding in my dungeon; but here she was, standing here, with a straight face, looking Brave as can be. She’s one of the strongest people I know. a day, and a whole night went by of us waiting for the results. unfortunately my grandpa didn't make it. His heart stop during the surgery, and after that everything started shutting down with it. it broke my heart that he was gone, and even though I got to say goodbye, I didn't get the response I wanted. the past couple months he had been right there with me, Yet I did nothing. I guess, I was just preparing myself. I had already been through so much sadness, and hurt, with my parents and, I just didn't want to go through anymore. I've always found it hard to deal with my emotions, And I don't like expressing them to anybody. I hate talking about how I feel oh, and I guess that's why I hate writing when I have to turn it in. Because I don't like people knowing how I feel I like staying away from everyone. I guess I feel like if I stay away from everyone, I won't get hurt as much because if I push myself away from everyone then there's no one to leave me. I'm wrong though. that's what I learned that night. I still struggle to express myself, and I still struggle to put myself around people, that I'm trying to change. I'm trying extremely hard to change. After we lost him, we all sat in a big circle telling stories about all of the times, good and, bad that we had with him. all I had to talk about was when I was younger, and it sucked. It started that I wasn't able to tell them,
“ last week we went out and we seen the movie, and it was really great.”
Even though I wasn't able to tell newer stories about my grandpa, it was really great being around all of my family, listening to what they had to say. I really wish I could go back in time and just take a couple minutes to talk to my grandpa, see how he was doing but we can't rewind time, and we can't we write the story how we wanted it to be. But we can look back and think about what it taught us, or how we wish it could have been and how we can change for the future. I learned to be more open with myself and others, and I learned that family is one of the most important things in life. Family will always be with you, through thick, and thin. I shouldn't have ever thought that they didn't like me because of how my parents were, and I should have never pushed myself away from them. From here on out, I'm going to spend as much time with my family, and friends that I can, before it's too late. I encourage everyone to do the same.