Dear God

Why does my heart hurt so bad?

I don’t

Understand why I’m so sad

I feel

Such a relentlessly deep pain

The ache

Throbs round my heart in cold chains

I’m not

Scared, I don’t think, of the darkness

It’s just

Hard when the world is lightless

I can’t

Breathe when my life is broken

I must

Hold on ‘til hope’s reawoken 

‘Til then

I’ve gotta trust all the shattered

Pieces

Of my heart really matter

If not

How can I cope with the fear

Drowning

With no rescue near

Tears fall softly 

On the ground around me

Blood-red roses flower from the rain

As the night surrounds me

I reach out, touch nothing

But the moonlight’s dead white stain

I know

There’s something out there for me

It’s you

And yet I cannot quite see

Beyond

The sorrow, loss, and sadness

I might

Succumb to endless madness

I don’t

Know, can you even hear this?

Or is

My prayer lost in the stillness?

Where are

You God?  You said You’d always be there

I thought

That meant someone finally cared

I guess

That I was wrong to hope for

A love

That never closes the door

Thorn in my heart

My world fell apart

So much for wishful thinking 

Plunged cold through my skin

Drink it in

Light fades, cannot breathe, I am sinking

It’s black

And there’s nothing around me

I’m cold

In a void, I am empty

There’s no

Echo, no silence, no feeling

In this

Place, this vacuum, breath-stealing

I can’t

Think, can’t hurt, cannot tire

Maybe

God was always a liar

He said

There was burning and screaming 

But I’m

Only drifting and dreaming

Is this

What it feels like to be free?

To feel

No more pain and suffering?

Then why

Do I feel so alone?

My heart

Has been turned into stone

I thought I was done

I had won

I had reached the end of all things

But if I can’t feel

How can I heal?

A scarred heart that can’t bleed cannot sing

My joy

And my laughter were lost

My love

And my memories were the cost

To rid

Myself of all my pain

No tears

Was my pitiful gain

Now I

Can no longer even mourn

The loss

Of my heart so forlorn 

I’m trapped 

In an endless nothing

I can’t 

Replace my everything

I wish

Release had come more sweetly

I guess

This is eternity

“O my God, no! This cannot be happening!”

“Call nine-one-one, she’s still breathing!”

“Don’t let go, just hold on - God, I need her!”

“Don’t be scared, I’m right here”

“God is with us everywhere”

(“Please God, please, not her too. I can’t lose her”)

Heartbeat

Throbbing in my ears

Gentle

Touch that calms my fears

Whispers

Prayers to God above

Bathing

My soul in precious love

Raindrops

Falling wet upon my hand

“Father,

I don’t understand

Thank you

For giving her back to me

Dear God

Help her to truly see

Your love.”

I thought my life was through

And yet

Everything is somehow new

“You should have told someone

You’re not the only one

To feel crushed by your worry and fear

You’re not alone

You can always come home

I will always, always be here.”

God will

Never leave or forsake me

I can

Rest secure in your safety

You have

Rescued, redeemed me

Given

A second chance to me

I see

Now that nothing is hopeless

My life

Has priceless worth and purpose

Above 

Me the clouds leave the sky

I won't

Be afraid now to cry

Some times

Tears deserve to be shed

I know

That the best is ahead

When I

Feel like I can’t go on

And I

Can only think of what’s gone

That’s when

I remember your mercy

Father

You have given me victory

Over 

My fear and depression

The war

Is already won

Dear God

You make the hurt not so bad

I don’t

Have to always be sad

I feel

Finally freed from my pain

The ache

Is now gone with my chains

I’m not

Scared anymore of the darkness

It’s just

Hard when the world is lightless

I can’t

Mend everything that is broken

I must

Hold on ‘til hope’s reawoken

‘Til then

I know you make all the shattered

Pieces

Of my heart really matter

If not

I could not cope with my fear

Dear God

Hold me ever near