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Unanswered Identity
February 26, 2019
Is that really me?
the figure with the heart so cold
Is this what i've come to be?
When will i be free?
anxious about what can't be controlled
Is that really me?
Will i be able to pick up the debris?
of the broken relationships and my own promises to uphold
Is this what i've come to be?
Have i lost the battle to finding the key?
as i struggle to find my way to the gold
Is that really me?
Do i take the time to plea?
against my monsters and fears that take me ahold
Is this what i've come to be?
finding the lost path and tracing the way back to she
the figure who walked towards the one that told
Is that really me
Is this what i've come to be
© Hadley B., Marblehead, MA
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Writing this piece while following the hard structure of a villanelle was difficult. I went through multiple stages where I could not figure out what I wanted to write about. Did I want to evoke the reader with emotion about their past? Did I want to instill happiness? In the end, as I was brainstorming, the song idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish came onto my playlist. The emotion that she delivered as she didn't want to be herself anymore inspired this piece. The series of questions is directed to me. I want to be able to confidently answer every single one of them in the future, but right now, I am slowly finding my way there.