Carnivores in the asphalt and concrete | Teen Ink

Carnivores in the asphalt and concrete

April 20, 2009
By KICK3593 PLATINUM, Roslyn Heights, New York
KICK3593 PLATINUM, Roslyn Heights, New York
49 articles 0 photos 74 comments

I had thought I was decently perched on the street’s bank
When I felt the fluttering termination
Of a helpless brown leaf, sturdy, but brown.
And with such a self-emanated zeal
Did I reach forward from my knees to pluck the thing
From its grounds.

And yet the humiliation lightly tapped,
And seeped unto me.
With my index finger—noble and nimble—
Did I make such sudden contact with its erotic fur
And have it reveal itself to be a dead moth.
Too late, however; withheld in my grasp,
My subservient thumb did suddenly fool the edge of its wing
And easily break it; pluck it, it must have thought,
And only then, with an Oedipal conscience,
The parasitic chain-reaction of thoughts that drain,
Could my gaze into its peering, pale eyes
Further encroach me daringly into guilt,
Only feeling that its clutching femurs and tarsi would now want to cling on to me forever.

And I could know forever that swarms of moths, of locusts,
And of butterflies, would insurrect at that moth’s unfounded grave, never mounded in the gutter,
And never will I go forward again, without the moth’s court,
The courts of ancient gods, nobly acknowledging sin,
Consenting that freedom is of no price,
Of only natural instinct,
Of only natural instinct.
Had I not shrugged my shoulders then, I would have forgotten and been self-forgiven.

The author's comments:
Perhaps this is just another dark, pessimist work, but if you are able to see something and type up something like this, then I guess its worth something. This I got from seeing a dead moth right next to the bottom of the computer. I got down to typing, finished in less than a half hour, and then edited and so on. THat moth is still there. I think I'll move it after this.
I guess the biggest problem with the human characters in my literary output is that they are too sensual. Putting a guy in a sudden phase of extreme guilt...well, I haven't taken AP Psychology or anything, but I've watched enough SpongeBob SquarePants, which means that nothing will stop me, no matter how the hell you interpret this poem or self-comment. I'm not too sure what George here's drawing is about, but it certainly evokes a sort of psychological bending and blending of the conglomorate of human anxiety and complex deterioration. To me at least

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This article has 4 comments.

EdytD SILVER said...
on May. 4 2009 at 10:43 pm
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments
lol thanks! Yeah, I'm love the dark poetry (which you can probably tell from my description).

on Apr. 30 2009 at 2:48 am
KICK3593 PLATINUM, Roslyn Heights, New York
49 articles 0 photos 74 comments
I am greatful to hear these comments from you. jennnnnnn, your poetry has an inspiring touch of light to it, but keep writing and you can add some impressive realism to it. EdytD, your verse is dark and engrossingly handsome; you just have to add some SAT-like vocabulary, which I also have to do.

Check out these two guys' poetry, people, they're impressive!

EdytD SILVER said...
on Apr. 29 2009 at 1:08 am
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments
Great job! I loved the complex web of emotions and strong images. I really enjoyed reading this poem - it was an unusual style and subject, but that made it all the more interesting.

on Apr. 29 2009 at 1:01 am
jennnnnnn BRONZE, Irvine, California
4 articles 6 photos 69 comments
even though your topic isn't like something super deep like love or life or whatever, this is one of the most interesting poems i've ever read, honestly. you are really talented at descriptions, and you definitely have an extremely unique view of things.

itd be great if you could check out my poems too! thanks :)

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