I googled how to kill myself the fastest way.

Without pain, without me surviving.

It had to look like an accident.

So they would mourn for me, and

Remember who I was,

Rather than how I chose to end it.

They would never know I decided to take my own life.

They would never see the failure I convinced myself I was.

I didn't want to be remembered as a coward.

Life didn't make sense.

School didn't make sense.

I was tired.

I was angry.

I was frustrated.

I felt worthless.

I was a failure.

I was in pain.

Slitting my wrists would be too messy.

Taking pills might not work.

Hanging myself would be a nightmare.

I could just drive my car off the bridge.

No pain. No mess.

They’d think it was an accident.

But in reality they’d never know,

That the demons inside told me to do it.