My fellow American citizens, there is a problem in our nation. A problem worse than the war in Iraq. A problem worse than the impoverished on the streets, the great federal debt, and the horrid pollution in our cities. Southerners are displaying the Confederate flag!


Prior to a few days ago, I believed it was perfectly acceptable to display the Confederate flag, but a young man changed my view. The Confederate flag symbolizes the people who enslaved African Americans, so therefore, no one should display it.


Now I am sure you will completely agree with me (in that every Confederate flag should be destroyed) if you listen to my arguments.


First, while some states in the Confederacy were highly pro-Union and only succeeded from the United States because urging from wealthy plantation owners, they gave into pressure and should not be forgiven. This includes, for example, the state of Tennessee, which was so horrible for joining the Confederacy after the entire state voted on the issue. It doesn’t matter that Tennessee only joined the Confederacy because of a 1% difference in the votes, or that it later tried to succeed from the Confederacy. Tennessee, like all Southern states, lived under the Confederate flag and fully supported slavery. That is unforgivable.


In fact, I urge my fellow Americans to go a step further. I encourage everyone to not support any flag from a country that once supported or still supports slavery. Of course, some people will insist on showing pride in their heritage, but these are all the countries’ flags that should be banned because of their allowing slavery at one point in history: Egypt, India, Greece, China, Spain, Portugal, Great Britain, South Africa, Ireland, Poland, Lithuania, Russia, Thailand, Ethiopia, Israel, Sudan, and the United States. This way you will not offend anyone for the heinous crime of displaying which country or ancestry you have. This rule should also apply to states whose flags display signs of the former Confederacy, such as the state flag of Arkansas.


Secondly, I am sure some of you are arguing the Confederate flag is a part of history. It represents the South. It represents pride as a Southerner. To which I ask, what is wrong with you people? You are going to risk offending someone in order to display your heritage and being proud of your people and cultural identity. Who do you think you are—Martin Luther King, Jr.?


Thirdly, I am certain some of you are arguing that the colonial Europeans initially bought slaves in Africa that were enslaved by other Africans to which I say has nothing to do with the issue at hand. After all, it isn’t like white people were ever enslaved by anyone, right? I mean, if you ignore all the Europeans that were enslaved, it makes perfect sense.


Also, many of you are sure to argue that many famous Americans, such as Thomas Jefferson and George Washington owned slaves. As such, I think the Declaration of Independence should be destroyed, as it is a symbol of a man who oppressed African Americans. George Washington’s image should also be removed from the quarter because he owned slaves, too. In his place, the government should use John F. Kennedy.


And lastly, even though President Obama agreed to pose for a picture, and there was a Confederate flag in the background, he was obviously offended. Even if the President said nothing about the issue, he must’ve been very offended according to various media sources. Obviously. After all, an African American cannot simply stand beside such an oppressive flag without feeling disdain.


In conclusion, I think my opinion is stated very clearly, and I know that all responsible and noble Americans will agree with me. However, just in case my stance is unclear, I will end with a quote from politician Mike Huckabee: “You don't like people from outside the state coming in and telling you what to do with your flag. In fact, if somebody came to Arkansas and told us what to do with our flag, we'd tell 'em what to do with the pole, that's what we'd do.”